marramgrass

2037 – Let puppy out of ‘indoor kennel’.
2038 – Disengage from over-enthusiastic puppy-affection.
2041 – Turn on shower, check temperature, put down rubber bath-mat.
2043 – Lift heavier-than-she-used-to-be puppy into bath.
2044 – Wet down fidgety puppy with shower.
2047 – Apply ‘Cat and Puppy Shampoo’.
2053 – Yell as puppy shakes.
2054 – Rinse off puppy with shower.
2056 – Yell louder as puppy leaps out of bath.
2058 – Fail to get towel wrapped around puppy. Slip on soaking-wet bathroom floor.
2059 – Yell again as soaking-wet puppy escapes bathroom and runs round the house.
2104 – Cry.
2108 – Clean up (substantial) excited-puppy pee from the middle of living-room floor.
2117 – Mop up half-inch of water from bathroom floor.
2128 – Meet friends in pub for drinks at quarter past nine.

Qui-Gon Jinn stood up to the puppy.

Unfortunately, she was stronger in the force.

Hellboy: It’s nothing world-shakingly wonderful, but it is rather a lot of fun.

The Village: Forget the backlash – no-one cranks tension at the cinema quite like Shymalan.

Starship Troopers 2:Hero of The Federation: Please don’t.

American History X: Good, but urgh (you know what I’m talking about).

The Girl Next Door: Half-way between She’s All That and American Pie and much better than either.