Van Helsing is a very bad film. Not so-bad-it’s-good. Not so-bad-it’s-funny. Just bad.

Before the final credits rolled I was actually laughing out loud, it was so horrendous.

Dodgy accents, scripting, direction. Clunky exposition, ‘interesting’ effects sequences, and the same narrative run twice-over through the film.

But Richard Roxburgh’s New Romantic Dracula (introduced to a proper Prince Charming drum beat running underneath the action: I doubt it was intentional, but it was perfect) makes it all worthwhile. Go and see it, just for him.